It finally happened. I'm not even sure why or how it happened, I'm just glad it did. I finally got tired of being fat and unhealthy. It's hard to say exactly what my breaking point was. It could have been when I passed the 500 pound mark, but that was a year ago. Maybe it was buying pants in the largest size carried by the local fat guy clothing store. My birthday this year is another possibility. Turning forty is cause for reflection, isn't it? Then again, it does bother me that my performance at work has degraded. I'm too tired and worn out to sit in front of a computer for eight hours. Can you imagine that?
Maybe it was all of those reasons and more. Maybe it doesn't matter, and what's important now is that I am ready to turn around. I have been fat my entire life. Every day I have woken up heavier than I was the day before. It was a fact of life and I accepted it. I didn't want to be fat, but I didn't fight against it because I knew it would require a change in lifestyle. Intellectually I knew that it wasn't just about diet and exercise, it was about altering the way I lived. For the longest time I had no interest in changing. I knew that when I sat down to eat a box of donuts they would make me fatter, that my back would hurt even more, and that it would be even harder to stand up and walk around.
Today is different. I do care about how I feel, and how I choose to live. I wish I knew what finally clicked in my brain because then I could tell others how to change their mindset as well.
It might be dangerous for me to say what I am saying because the excitement I feel right now could very well be the same excitement that countless others felt when starting a new fitness regime only to later lose that excitement and fail in their goals. It would be fair if I were to experience that rush and disappointment--this is my first attempt after all--but I hope it doesn't turn out that way.
I have chosen DDP Yoga because it is no impact. My body isn't able to run, jump, climb, or lift. I have also chosen this program because of DDP himself. I trust DDP. I have never met him, I have only ever seen him on TV, but I believe he is sincere in his desire to help me change. I may be a fool for giving this much trust to a stranger, but I'm doing it anyway.
I chose "Stand Up" as my first official workout and gave it a try the next day. Five minutes into the video I turned it off. I was sucking air and ready to collapse. The situation called for a change in strategy. I went to the recommended workout, called "Energy", and when I got winded I stopped to breathe but let the video continue to play. I missed a few moves and joined back in when I could and didn't worry about trying to catch up. There were several times when I sat down on the edge of my seat and continued while only using my upper body. I finished the video knowing that while I had not done everything as instructed I had still made a major accomplishment.
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